How much to go out of your comfort zone

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I have been pondering over this subject it lately, and I am in a bit of a dilemma. I have recently come back to University after a year out working during my placement year.

Placement year for was a great experience because it helped me to come out of my shell. I've always been reserved and quiet and through working and taking responsibility I saw myself become more confident.

I also discovered a world outside of work! As I was living with my aunt we both joined Toastmasters. This is a club where you work on your public speaking skills, you are taught methods to grab people's attention and tackle your anxieties. My aunt and I really enjoyed and benefited  from it. It was also a time that I discovered that speaking is like exercise for me. I'm not naturally loud person, but the more I put myself out there and practice speaking. The more comfortable I become with speaking and the less of a chore it seems.

Now to my dilemma.

I am back at University now - I've been back for nearing two months. During the first two weeks of University I decided I'd join the debating society as a way of 'exercising' speaking. I went along to two sessions which I enjoyed... but felt completely out of my depth. Perhaps it was because I was put in a group with very experienced debaters, I just didn't feel like I belonged there or was good enough to be there. After weeks and weeks of promising myself that I would go again. It's been two months... and I still haven't been since. I feel incredibly guilty about this. As a consequence I can feel my confidence decreasing and becoming more anxious in situations where I need to speak.

Then the other day, somebody said something to me that really stuck in my head. Everyday - you should strive to be 1% better that you were the previous day. Sometimes, it is really difficult to throw yourself into anxiety provoking situations - which is why I think it should be taken a step at a time. Maybe I'm not quite ready for the debating society but what I have been trying to do is becoming more proactive in speaking out in lectures and group situations. I am also becoming better at expressing my views and opinions when necessary.  Something I really struggled with before.

While it's good to be true to yourself, it is also always good to be growing and developing as a person and if, you find that after pushing yourself out there a little, it feels unnatural or strange then you can always reel yourself back. But that doesn't you can't experiment with your personality. So, if there is an area in your life, in which you want to step out of your comfort zone. I suggest that the best way to do it, is in stages. Draw up a plan of where you would like to be; identify the relevant steps necessary to achieving that goal and look at small changes you can start making.

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