Happy Tools

I got myself into a situation a little while ago where I became very self-conscious and worried about what other people thought of me. I became so paranoid and convinced that other people were judging me that I just couldn't be free and I couldn't be myself. It was here that I realised how much value I was placing on other people liking me. And there came a point when I felt like some people had turned against me or that they were judging me for certain choices and decisions I had made and it hurt me and bothered me. But that whole experience made me realise that I know who I am in my heart. I know that I have good intentions and thoughts. I do make mistakes sometimes, but so does everyone. Whatever people think of me - it doesn't define who I am. Since that experience it's made me cherish the people I do have in my life and the people who have stood by, even during the bad times. It's brought me closer to the people that I need to be close with rather than people...

I've been thinking lately about the difference between being positive and just sugar coating things that are really not okay. I've trained myself to try and be a more positive person but I started to realise sometimes my attempts to be positive were tipping over into sugar coating things and denying when things were not going right... The time I noticed this was when I would feel anxious and unhappy on this inside but would portray an image of smiling and happiness to everybody on the outside. This started to make me internalise my problems and avoid finding the solutions - making the anxiety even worse. It also made me feel quite artificial. So having thought about this some more. I think positivity isn't about portraying an image of being constantly happiness on the outside. It's a feeling of contentness and acceptance. It's about accepting your emotions and feelings, happy or sad, and knowing that you can handle it no matter what. It's about knowing that ...

Something that I have been trying to work on recently is how to think outside of the box. I feel that a lot of the time I like pattern and routine and get set in a particular way of doing things - so I then get stiffled when I have to think outside of the box. This issue particularly became prominent in situations at work where I would work myself really hard and spend a lot of time on tasks without sometimes thinking whether there was a quicker, more efficient way of doing it. I've been pondering a little on why I do this recently and I think one of the reasons is that I often absorb myself in tasks without thinking outside of the box is because I get scared of change and the idea of doing something wrong. At least if I follow the manual and stick to the same way things can't go wrong... But the problem is when you are busy and have a lot to do, you end up working yourself silly just to meet the deadlines. Therefore it is important to find new and innovative ways whi...

Talking about my views and opinions is something that I've really stuggled with in the past. This is because I don't like to cause conflicts and disagreements, I like to get along with everyone and for everything to be hunky dory. I've noticed I often deter myself from situations where I have to say what I think because of this. Unfortunately I've realised that in the bigger picture you have to be true to yourself and say what you really think. It is often necessary to say what you think in order to make a difference to a situation even if people do not necessarily agree. However, whilst it is important to say what you think. I believe you have to be careful that saying your opinions and views doesn't tip over into arrogance. I read a quote recently which said "There's always a way to be open and honest whilst being respectful. Anyone who behaves otherwise is just being lazy." I think that this is a really important point and something to be awar...

"Life is not a competition. Each one is on their own journey. Live according to your choices, capacity, values and principles." I got sent the above quote to me the other day and it really resonated with me. This is because I am 23 years old and at a time in my life where people are constantly coming in and out of my life. It was starting to make me feel a bit unsettled because you do get used to stability and having the same people around. People all seem to be do be doing different things with their lives. Some people are getting married; some people are studying further; some people are buying houses. You do sometimes wonder whether you should follow others on the same path and sometimes lose focus of your own journey and pace. The truth is, everyone is different in what they want from life - just because others are doing certain things, doesn't mean it's the correct next step for you to take too. There are so many things that I want to do in my life, b...

Three months ago I realised I had gone so far into my comfort zone it was like I was in a bubble. I was fearful of new situations; new people and new challenges. As a consequence I was really restricting myself from doing things and wasn't growing or learning anything different. I was going to and from work everyday; doing the same work; talking to the same people that I was comfortable with and not trying any new challenges or activities. Over the last few months I've started to realise how important it is to step outside your comfort zone in order to grow and not be dependent on situations and people staying the same. I've therefore been pushing myself to go out, talk to and meet new people; I've also joined some new activities outside of work which has really improved my confidence such as a weight lifting class! I've also looked at areas where I can improve and grow at work and start to develop more in my career. I'm can safely say the last few months...