Feeling fear and trying new things

Three months ago I realised I had gone so far into my comfort zone it was like I was in a bubble. I was fearful of new situations; new people and new challenges. As a consequence I was really restricting myself from doing things and wasn't growing or learning anything different. I was going to and from work everyday; doing the same work; talking to the same people that I was comfortable with and not trying any new challenges or activities.

Over the last few months I've started to realise how important it is to step outside your comfort zone in order to grow and not be dependent on situations and people staying the same. I've therefore been pushing myself to go out, talk to and meet new people; I've also joined some new activities outside of work which has really improved my confidence such as a weight lifting class! I've also looked at areas where I can improve and grow at work and start to develop more in my career. I'm can safely say the last few months have been some of the toughest but proudest few months of my life as I've done things that I never thought I would be able to do.

Nevertheless, there are still certain areas in life where I am looking to grow but I keep holding myself back due to fear of the unknown. So I've been asking myself: what more can I do to conquer that fear that I keep being faced with?

• Self-talk - there's always that voice inside people's head which tries to tell you that you're going to fail. You start looking at past situations that haven't gone successfully and ignore situations that have gone well. It's worth always reminding yourself of the things you have done well and of your good qualities. Keep a diary of your successes or little bookmarks of your accomplishments in your life.

• Detach yourself - sometimes I find it useful to pretend you're an actress and that it's not really you who's doing these scary things. It's like you're playing a part in a movie and it's your cue to 'talk to this person' or 'go to this dance class'. I think if you're not so attached to your identity and who you think you should be, but rather just a person playing a role in a movie, then it can be easier to do certain things.

• Just do it.  - Okay admittedly, maybe not the most constructive advice. But there are times in life (not always) where you have to just jump through that hoop. Even if your mind and body are resisting it, it will only get easier the more you do it. Also, even if things feel weird and awkward the first few times - don't get complacent and realise that eventually it will feel less scary.

• Let get of expectations of the outcome - I find I usually perform better in situations when I'm not so worried about the outcome. Ironically, sometimes I do better at things that I don't care as much about... and the things that I do care about I end up overthinking and not doing so well in. So I think, even if you do care a lot about something, such as applying for a job, don't overthink it. Put your very best into the application and let go of what you expect the outcome to be.

• Be patient - Quite contradictory to my 'Just do it.' point above, but you still need to be patient with yourself and not beat yourself up if you are unable to do things first time round as that doesn't really help. If at first you don't succeed or are unable to do things then reflect on the situation and why you felt you were unable to do it and then try, try and try again. 

So there you have it. A few pointers I have thought of to help you go out of your comfort zone. I hope this is useful for anyone else who is experiencing fear of situations as well to help them step outside of their comfort zone more.