Friendships - old, present and new
Friendships are one of those wonderful things that make your life just that little bit lighter. It can be great to talk things through with friends and share your happy and sad moments. I'm lucky enough to have some incredible friendships which I've built up over the years throughout school, college and University and can safely say I will be friends with these people for lifetime.
Nevertheless, I find it quite painful when I lose friends. I recently met someone who I got along really well with, we could talk really organically without it feeling forced and we had a lot in common. I genuinally thought we would continue to be great friends. But a situation occured which has meant we are not anymore. After six months of getting to know this person it seems we don't really talk anymore and for the past month or so I have felt really hurt about it. More than this, they don't really seem bothered by it and I am. I don't have any dislike towards the person because of this and I'm not angry about it. But I couldn't help but feel hurt.
I've begun to see after time though, in the grand scheme of things - it's not a big deal. We'll both move on and go our seperate ways and who knows if we would have stayed in touch anyway. It does feel a bit silly to have let it bother me so much. I try and not get attached to people and things. On this occassion, I allowed myself to get attached to the idea of us being good friends in the future. When that didn't happen... I got disappointed.
I now have started thinking about how although certain things don't work out how you would expect them to, the best things in life tend to happen when you least expect it (as cliché as it sounds). I met my best friend at secondary school and at the time we barely spoke, we were in the same group of friends but sat on opposite ends of the table at lunchtime. Then, when we went off to college our group kind of split up but we happened to stumble upon each other more and more. At the time I was actually trying really hard to make new friends at college. Coincidentally we kept bumping into each other, at lunch, on the library, on the bus and spending more and more time together. We got really close at some points but we actually went through phases where we would fall out and didn't speak for a while. Now we're at a stage in our lives where we are great friends who will always be there for each other, we have very different personalites but we have a great understanding of each other and our strengths and weaknesses. Whilst we know we're there for each other we can go for months without talking to each other and still be normal when we see each other.
So, in hindsight this whole situation has made me realise that the more you expect things from situations and people the more likely you are to disappointed. That's not meant to sound pessimistic. I'm not saying you shouldn't go out and make friends and go for the things you want in life. However, if you carry too many expectations of how things 'should be' you are likely to not see the great things that are standing right in front of you. So put in the hard work to your studies; apply for those jobs; go out; socialise and meet people. But let go a little and don't think too much about the outcome. Some things may work out how you envisioned and some things may not. If you keep moving forward, things will slowly but surely fall into place, maybe
not exactly how you imagined it would be but in some other wonderful shape or form.
Nevertheless, I find it quite painful when I lose friends. I recently met someone who I got along really well with, we could talk really organically without it feeling forced and we had a lot in common. I genuinally thought we would continue to be great friends. But a situation occured which has meant we are not anymore. After six months of getting to know this person it seems we don't really talk anymore and for the past month or so I have felt really hurt about it. More than this, they don't really seem bothered by it and I am. I don't have any dislike towards the person because of this and I'm not angry about it. But I couldn't help but feel hurt.
I've begun to see after time though, in the grand scheme of things - it's not a big deal. We'll both move on and go our seperate ways and who knows if we would have stayed in touch anyway. It does feel a bit silly to have let it bother me so much. I try and not get attached to people and things. On this occassion, I allowed myself to get attached to the idea of us being good friends in the future. When that didn't happen... I got disappointed.
I now have started thinking about how although certain things don't work out how you would expect them to, the best things in life tend to happen when you least expect it (as cliché as it sounds). I met my best friend at secondary school and at the time we barely spoke, we were in the same group of friends but sat on opposite ends of the table at lunchtime. Then, when we went off to college our group kind of split up but we happened to stumble upon each other more and more. At the time I was actually trying really hard to make new friends at college. Coincidentally we kept bumping into each other, at lunch, on the library, on the bus and spending more and more time together. We got really close at some points but we actually went through phases where we would fall out and didn't speak for a while. Now we're at a stage in our lives where we are great friends who will always be there for each other, we have very different personalites but we have a great understanding of each other and our strengths and weaknesses. Whilst we know we're there for each other we can go for months without talking to each other and still be normal when we see each other.
So, in hindsight this whole situation has made me realise that the more you expect things from situations and people the more likely you are to disappointed. That's not meant to sound pessimistic. I'm not saying you shouldn't go out and make friends and go for the things you want in life. However, if you carry too many expectations of how things 'should be' you are likely to not see the great things that are standing right in front of you. So put in the hard work to your studies; apply for those jobs; go out; socialise and meet people. But let go a little and don't think too much about the outcome. Some things may work out how you envisioned and some things may not. If you keep moving forward, things will slowly but surely fall into place, maybe
not exactly how you imagined it would be but in some other wonderful shape or form.
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