Happy Tools

Something that I have been trying to work on recently is how to think outside of the box. I feel that a lot of the time I like pattern and routine and get set in a particular way of doing things - so I then get stiffled when I have to think outside of the box. This issue particularly became prominent in situations at work where I would work myself really hard and spend a lot of time on tasks without sometimes thinking whether there was a quicker, more efficient way of doing it. I've been pondering a little on why I do this recently and I think one of the reasons is that I often absorb myself in tasks without thinking outside of the box is because I get scared of change and the idea of doing something wrong. At least if I follow the manual and stick to the same way things can't go wrong... But the problem is when you are busy and have a lot to do, you end up working yourself silly just to meet the deadlines. Therefore it is important to find new and innovative ways whi...

Talking about my views and opinions is something that I've really stuggled with in the past. This is because I don't like to cause conflicts and disagreements, I like to get along with everyone and for everything to be hunky dory. I've noticed I often deter myself from situations where I have to say what I think because of this. Unfortunately I've realised that in the bigger picture you have to be true to yourself and say what you really think. It is often necessary to say what you think in order to make a difference to a situation even if people do not necessarily agree. However, whilst it is important to say what you think. I believe you have to be careful that saying your opinions and views doesn't tip over into arrogance. I read a quote recently which said "There's always a way to be open and honest whilst being respectful. Anyone who behaves otherwise is just being lazy." I think that this is a really important point and something to be awar...

"Life is not a competition. Each one is on their own journey. Live according to your choices, capacity, values and principles." I got sent the above quote to me the other day and it really resonated with me. This is because I am 23 years old and at a time in my life where people are constantly coming in and out of my life. It was starting to make me feel a bit unsettled because you do get used to stability and having the same people around. People all seem to be do be doing different things with their lives. Some people are getting married; some people are studying further; some people are buying houses. You do sometimes wonder whether you should follow others on the same path and sometimes lose focus of your own journey and pace. The truth is, everyone is different in what they want from life - just because others are doing certain things, doesn't mean it's the correct next step for you to take too. There are so many things that I want to do in my life, b...

Three months ago I realised I had gone so far into my comfort zone it was like I was in a bubble. I was fearful of new situations; new people and new challenges. As a consequence I was really restricting myself from doing things and wasn't growing or learning anything different. I was going to and from work everyday; doing the same work; talking to the same people that I was comfortable with and not trying any new challenges or activities. Over the last few months I've started to realise how important it is to step outside your comfort zone in order to grow and not be dependent on situations and people staying the same. I've therefore been pushing myself to go out, talk to and meet new people; I've also joined some new activities outside of work which has really improved my confidence such as a weight lifting class! I've also looked at areas where I can improve and grow at work and start to develop more in my career. I'm can safely say the last few months...

Friendships are one of those wonderful things that make your life just that little bit lighter. It can be great to talk things through with friends and share your happy and sad moments. I'm lucky enough to have some incredible friendships which I've built up over the years throughout school, college and University and can safely say I will be friends with these people for lifetime. Nevertheless, I find it quite painful when I lose friends. I recently met someone who I got along really well with, we could talk really organically without it feeling forced and we had a lot in common. I genuinally thought we would continue to be great friends. But a situation occured which has meant we are not anymore. After six months of getting to know this person it seems we don't really talk anymore and  for the past month or so I have felt really hurt about it. More than this, they don't really seem bothered by it and I am. I don't have any dislike towards the person because of t...

I've been wondering. Do we need to feel pain in our lives? I mean it's not exactly a pleasant feeling. In my opinion, yes and no. I think it can be adaptive if we learn from it. However, if we get  dwell on the pain for a prolonged period then it can be maladaptive. My view is that emotional pain is like a trigger in our brain telling is something is not right and we need to deal with it. Be it emotional pain or physical pain, when we experience it, it's a wound that needs to be dealt with and healed. Sometimes it's frustrating when you go through a situation where you experience pain and all you want to do is bounce back up again and face life. Some people think that this is the way and say "Get back up," or"Keep going," To some extent, yes, we do need to get back up and carry on but I believe this is the wrong thing to say to someone who has just come out of a painful situation. How are we meant to keep going with an open wound that hasn't ...

For a really long time with people around me I've been shying about and not wanting to show them who I really I am. So I show them a perfect version of myself deeply trying to hide all my flaws. I present to them what is acceptable in society and hide any negative or wrong thoughts that I have in fear that this will cause conflict and cause me not to be liked. Now I've started to become more comfortable with people it makes me nervous that they're starting to see my flaws and insecurities because after all, everyone else is completely perfect and stable right? It's easy to think that way but in reality I think everyone has flaws and thoughts that might not necessarily be acceptable but I really don't think hiding them away in a little box is the answer. Here are a few reasons why: 1. There are a lot of people out there with insecurities and fears - hiding yours away could cause other people to believe that you don't have any insecurities and hence hide their...